I’m afraid this week I am unable to bring you the Advice from Eden column, apparently she couldn’t be tempted even by the delights of Millbrook to come and offer her wisdom, this week. Mind you, as you shall discover we haven’t necessarily been following it, anyway.

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So it was that some twit decided on a day when it was 32 degrees going and standing in a field for 6 hours with no shade would be a good idea. Curdridge duly rocked up to the Sierra Millbrook, otherwise known as the Millbrook Rec., sandwiched between the docks, a business park, a Greggs “Outlet” store which presumably sells the sausage rolls that don’t meet the high quality standards of normal Greggs stores (…), and the Millbrook Adult Superstore, about which a sniggering Dom and Giles appeared to be sharing fond reminiscences…

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To sum it all up – as Jack put it, “Last time I was in Millbrook I got punched”.

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Nonetheless, we were there, off the back of a tough match the previous week and in need of a win to shore up our shaky position in the table. For a while it looked like the opposition weren’t going to turn up, and seemed to be taking a leaf out of India’s book as they struggled to reach the Rose Bowl. However, they did eventually turn up, and out from the Curdridge players huddled in the only viable shade around the ground strode Jules to do the toss. 

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This, I might add, followed a very democratic process in which Jules had requested votes on which side of the coin to call, as a means for avoiding the blame for getting it wrong. Naturally, this didn’t stop Mike making his feelings known even before the toss had happened… let’s just say he wasn’t awfully keen on fielding first (despite the fact that the sun generally stays out longer than an innings…). As it was, he needn’t have bothered, as Jules won the toss and elected for us to bat first. Further conversation ensued as Rob slid down the batting order from opening to 5, 6, 7 and than back to opening again, and out went Dom and Rob to start up the innings. 

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A reasonable couple of overs ensued as first Dom and then Rob got off the mark, and we were on 9 after the first two overs, on a pitch which looked like the ball would run away rapidly. Unfortunately, what happened instead was a rather rapid loss of wickets. First up was Dom, with a ball that started on off and ended up removing his leg stump.

 

Out came Jules to join Rob and navigated a couple of balls, before at the other end once again the ball found his way through Rob’s blind spot (which seems to extend from just outside off to the just the other side of leg, at the moment) and away went Rob’s stumps, and away went Rob back to the boundary, with the brief renaissance of last week’s batting swiftly ended.

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Next in was New Harry – distinguished from Original Harry by virtue of having a working back, digits, vocabulary… Unhappily, New Harry would also not last long at the crease, neither would Jack or Craig, and when Jules was the only one of the top six batsmen to reach double figures but being dismissed for 15. Net result of our “efforts”, we found ourselves still shy of 50, having lost 6 wickets. It was looking like a short day.

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Fortunately, the rest of the batting line up had had enough of this farce, decided they’d actually like to stick around for a bit longer, and that when one goes out for an afternoon’s cricket, it’s actually supposed to last the afternoon. George and Alan dug in, and with the help of the regularly increasing total in the extras column, began to steer us towards a score with sensible batting, keeping out the good balls and scoring off the bad ones. Anyone would think this batting malarky is simple. The batting points began to come and things were looking, well, not good per se, but perhaps not quite so disastrous as it had been. Sort of.

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Unfortunately, this revival was cut short as Alan drove one in the air over the bowler’s head but, contrary to all expectations based on empirical observation of some of the fielding today and in the fixture earlier in the season, the catch was held at mid-off and the partnership was broken.

 

Up next was Giles, and immediately started playing his trademark jabs towards leg-side, prompting a shift in the field to block off that avenue but opening up gaps elsewhere. Another partnership began to build as George continued to accumulate a score, and Giles got in on the act, too. It was beginning to look like, against all odds, we might have a defensible total. 

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Disaster struck, though, as George tried to force the run rate, and in a second piece of unexpected fielding was run-out by a direct hit having scored a vital 32 runs. In strode Mike, determined to carry on where he left-off last week and carry on building his average. It still looked like we might reach 150. Unfortunately for us, another catch was taken as Giles was dismissed after a stubborn 22, and in strode last man Sammy. A few more runs would be added to the total, including what seems to be a trademark from Mike – hitting the ball, having no idea where it had gone, and being totally oblivious to the other batsman charging up the strip from the other end… echoes of “run you moron” from last week…

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The total crept upwards through the 140s, with another batting point in sight. Sadly, an ill-fated gust of wind had flipped the scoreboard slightly, so when Sammy and Mike calculated we needed only 2 runs to reach 150 we in fact needed 3, and then Sammy lost his stumps, and we were all out for 149.

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Not our finest day with the bat, 6 batsmen failing to reach double figures, and it only being down to George, Alan and Giles that we got halfway near a respectable total. Oh, and the top scorer for the innings, extras.

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Well, 150 to win, and last week Community had been bowled-out for 80-odd. If we bowled well and luck was with us we might get in amongst it.

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Luck was not with us.

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Opening up the bowling would be George and New Harry, and despite penetrating bowling and good lines and length, George in particular keeping the runs down, neither could find the breakthrough, and the odd wide or loose ball was despatched to the boundary, or flying through the air but every time going into the gaps between fielders. Already the frustration  was beginning to mount, and so was the score.

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A change was called for, and into the attack came Sammy and Mike. The runs carried on flowing, though, before the breakthrough came, as Sammy induced the edge, the catch carried through to Jack’s gloves, the shout went up, and the decision was given. Yes, that’s right, a decision was given, a rare thing, it seems, in the league this year, and kudos also to the batsman who was already walking before the umpire nodded his confirmation. 63-1. Not long after, a second wicket fell as Mike finally got one straight and full, and removed the stumps of the other opener.

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A glimmer of hope and optimism appeared. No, it wasn’t that, it was just the sun, still beating down and by now even the breeze was finding it too hot. The batsmen settled in, though, in the face of the heat and the bowling, and began to throw their hands at the ball. Once again, chances just didn’t seem to come, and as the ball went airborne but never close-enough to a fielder. The score mounted ever more rapidly, and neither Giles nor the returning New Harry or George could find another breakthrough. 25 overs in, and the total was reached with only the loss of two wickets.

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Another chastening loss, and we seem to be stuck in a bit of a rut. I’m not sure what it is that  Curdridge have done to incur the cricketing gods’ wrath these past couple of seasons, maybe it’s the match reports they don’t enjoy, but we will look to next weekend with plenty of matches still to come this season, and try to turn things around…

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Thank you to Jan for braving both the sun and the Community players getting changed in the scorer’s hut (I call it a hut, but it had no walls…) to score.

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Next Week: We return to the Bowl of Dreams and take on Trojans, fresh from their starring role in Christopher Nolan’s latest epic.

 

Champagne Moment: Do you know, I can’t think of a thing. Jules won the toss.

 

Man of the Match: This week Man of the Match is George, with his innings holding the batting together, 5 overs bowled for only 13 runs conceded, and big effort in the field.

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Donut of the Day: This week it goes to Jack for manging to lose his keys, and having half the team scouring the field in a skirmish line despite multiple queries of “have you checked in your bag. No, really, have you checked in your bag?”. Turns out his keys were in his bag.